Saturday, September 1, 2007

Labor day...

The funniest things said during labor and delivery.

My son, number two... the v-back...and only one that came without help.
"come out you little sh*t!"

Come on in and tell me your story!!!!


  1. While in labor with kid #2 my doctor is sitting there,watching the action. He says: I can see the head. Here it comes. Nurse could you get me a cup of coffee, please? Cream and a little sugar.

    And I yelled COFFEE?? Forget the coffee and catch the blasted baby! That's what we're paying you for.

    Not only did I let him live, but he went on to deliver babies # 3&4 too,but he knew better than to ask for coffee those times.

  2. LOL too funny. I can't say anything happened that was funny during the birth of my 4 kids. They were all very tense high risk pregnancies. I guess the funniest thing was with my first one and I'd gone to the hospital because my water had broke and the doc asked me if my water had actually broke or had I just peed. Needless to say he got my are you kidding me look.

  3. Hilarious!!! LOL
    With number 4, loopy from drugs I off counted while the doctor counted the was a c-section... Afterwards I asked him if there were any junior mints left in there. ;)

  4. My husband is a paramedic and donned gloves as the nurse ran out of the room telling me not to push right after I said, 'It's coming! I HAVE to push!" I did all the work, but the OB got all the money.

  5. I don't remember saying much with The Boy. I know I objected to someone trying to feed me peppermint tea with way too much honey in it, and at one point I needed my hair lifted off the back of my neck because it was tickling...

    I know I yelled "Hurry Hard" (it's what my girlfriends and I say instead of cheers when we're doing shooters) while I took shots of black kohosh to speed up my contractions, but that was before hard labour started.

  6. Absolutely nothing funny that I recall about giving birth, but Mom always reminds me that my sister was almost born head down in a toilet ;-)
    (Okay, she probably doesn't think that's funny...)


  7. OMG, shara, that's hilarious.
    thanks for visiting ladies.

  8. Too funny of an idea to pass on.

    I had leg labor with my mom and HubbaBubba were trying to massage my thighs beacuse the sciatica pain was so bad...and I told them to do it harder...Hubba said - "honey, it doesn't get any harder." I missed it at the time, but my mom loves to tell that story.

    BabyBoy was FAST. The nurse left the room for me to change and came back to check me. She said - "Oh, we're having a baby."

    YOU THINK! I actually said that. She didn't find me funny...

  9. All my babies came pretty fast -- under 4 hours. With the first one, when I was ready to push, the doctor (old fart!) that I didn't like checked me, said to the nurse, "Go ahead and have her push. I'm going to take a shower and then I'll check back." The nurse gave a disgusted little snort as he left the room. I asked her, "If YOU catch this baby, do you get part of his fee?" And she said, "I'm damn well going to ask for it." So with her and my DH's excellent coaching, I pushed just as hard as I could. Ten minutes later they got to drag doc out of the shower. He was dressed but soaking wet and highly ticked off; got there just in time to do the actual delivery. The nurse and I couldn't stop giggling -- which confused him badly, since I'd had no drugs.

  10. Awesome stories. Thanks for bringing it up, Morgan.

    With #1, DH and I were both sick as dogs the week before with a nasty upper respiratory infection. They had put in an internal monitor and DH thought it was just the funniest thing that every time I coughed, the monitor went off the scale.

    Also, when I started labor with her, we were watching X-Files. I was asked why I didn't say anything when I felt the first contractions. I replied, "No way was I missing the end of the show!" I knew how antsy DH would have been and it was too early for anything to happen that fast. The next morning, the OB barely showed up in time to catch her, he'd been stuck in a meeting.

    With #2, I wanted to kill the nurse assisting. She didn't want to count with me. Didn't matter in the end, anyway. DS was sunny-side up and ended in a c-section. The OB and the anethesiologist were making rehearsal plans for their band while I was laying there, sick as a dog from the stuff they gave me to "settle my stomach" that does the opposite if you've been pushing. Thanks guys!


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