Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Stomped

Do you ever feel like you're trust is getting stomped on? Like you're being used as the biggest joke of the decade? You keep having Faith, keep trusting that there is a Bigger Plan out there, a purpose for you, for your family. And amidst the uncertainty of life you keep saying Thanks and having this patience [with the occasional impatient outburst].

I don't even think I can explain how betrayed I feel right now.

And yes, there's a good dose of Irish guilt and shame pointing a finger at me and telling I'm on the road to hell [not to mention my hubby who is so high above me and never has a human thought about what's unfair in life being the fault of You-Know-Who, he would be appalled that I could say something against this Higher Plan]. Yet, I can't help be human. I can't help these feelings that are clawing their way out of me. I'm no saint, but I think I've displayed a decent amount of trust over the last year. Yet once again, I feel like my trust and love is being taken advantage of.

One WORD! That's all it would have taken. One little YES or NO.
But no. How about we wait until the end of July, instead?
Yes, what's one more month of this BLOODY-AWFUL LIMBO?

I'm sorry to be such a downer today. I suppose I should go into hiding until this black cloud passes over. Too bad these feelings don't inspire romance...
Don't be surprised if my first book is a boring-ass women's lit novel full of angst and bitterness. :/

Take care out there.
With love,
Bethanne

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there, Bethanne. I think every writer feels as you do today. I know I have. Keep the faith, and keep working. Better days are coming.

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