Thursday, March 21, 2013

I guess I'll go eat worms...

New rules...
No rules.
No chores.
No obligations.
No discipline.

No yelling.
No swearing.
No caring.

I am just sick to death of being the bad guy, the yeller, the one who gets dirty looks, the one who can't control a temper. Why do I give a you-know-what? Why do I let it bother me when no one listens? When no one does what they are asked to do? 

I don't need to yell. Or swear. [or burp or sneeze or fart <--sorry, couldn't help myself. LOVE Despicable Me!] I wonder what they would do if I...like, started praying in tongues every time I usually lose my temper? Or sang Broadway Musicals? Or did a little tap dance? Or performed a dramatic reading from my current book?

Does anyone really LIKE being a parent? I see photos on FB. Status updates from other families. And they all look so happy. And it used to be okay. I mean, when the kids were littler and still loved me, it was wonderful! Now, I don't know.

I used to be fun. I smiled a lot. Laughed a few times a day. I knew how to relax, enjoy stuff. Now it seems like I'm always looking for the next 'me time' or the next out. Always looking for an exit, a chance to get away. The kids know it... I suppose maybe they feel as unloved as I do.

I think tomorrow I will start by getting out of the car at school and hugging the kids goodbye...
Win me any points??? I don't think so, but you know what? [see New Rules above] No caring.

I don't care.

3 comments:

  1. Great rules! Don't eat worms- I love you. :) Hug them, love them and chin up! You can do it.

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  2. You know, kids, especially those of the pre-teen/teen variety, aren't always good about responding to the call to greater service, compassion, teamwork, other-centeredness and to our love, but I know that deep down, they thrive on that hug, that kind word, that moment of quiet understanding from mom even when they don't readily show it. You are doing the right thing to fight the battle with love. I am facing similar struggles but I want to encourage you that the Lord is there in your faithfulness to the call of motherhood. He is working though us, even when we feel like we aren't getting anywhere. You are doing a good job, Bethanne. I see it in your children. Hang in there! I'm praying for you. - Katherine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your words are such an encouragement to me, Katherine. :) Thank you for stopping by and sharing your insight. *hugs*

      In case you're curious, I pulled my punch a bit...hesitated at the gate, but I did say, "How about if I get out and give everyone a hug today?" A resounding response.... from one, "NO!" and from the other, "WHAT?!"

      OMG, I wish I had the camera going. It was hilarious.

      Delete

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